Today’s Lesson: False Expectations
Bible verses: Genesis 30: 19 & 34
How often do we place high expectations on others? How many times do we try to convince ourselves that if we do this or that, something will change? Those false expectations is our topic Today.
In a few bible verses, we can see how Leah has the illusion that a baby will cause Jacob to finally love her. Leah lives under the shadow of her sister Rachel, so she will cling to any ray of hope that makes her believe that Jacob’s love is around the corner. Jacob loved Rachel and was only, literally, on duty with Leah. It was nonsense for Leah to create those false expectations of Jacob.
The problem with false expectations is that we are the only ones getting hurt in the process. False expectations give us blurry vision when it comes to reality, we begin to lose sight and start painting a picture of what we hope it can be. Personally, I have been in the position of believing I could change someone, let me tell you, I couldn't have been more wrong. There is no amount of love, care or sacrifice you can do in the name of love, that will cause a change in someone that doesn't want to change or has no feelings for you. There is nothing more draining than going all out for someone else, and receiving nothing back.
Leah had the idea that by giving Jacob kids, she will finally gain his love. Sadly enough, we still see women today with that mentality. If I get pregnant, he will stop chasing her, will start a family with me and she will be part of the past. Kids will never make someone stay. Being an excellent woman to the wrong man, is not going to make him realize how good you are and suddenly will want to marry you or make you happy. The hurt that comes from those false expectations is unbearable and we end up carrying it to the next relationship. The worst part of it all, is that we created them in the first place.
When we realize we set that bar too high for someone that falls short, it creates an unbearable hurt. We can ‘t blame them for not fulfilling those expectations, because most certainly, the truth was there and you didn’t see it. Like Leah, at times I thought that my actions could change the outcome. I believed that person would finally see I was good for him and he will decide to change his perception of me. And once again, like Leah, Jacob was never going to fulfill her expectations, no matter how much she tries. I know coming to that realization can be a tough pill to swallow, but the pain that can lasts a lifetime, if you allow it, can be worse because it never ends. We are just dragging our deception and pain. We are breaking our own hearts expecting pears from an apple tree.
If something is not working in your life as expected: Stop and think: Are my expectations in this person are in line with his actions? What I see in him, does it link for what I have in mind for my personal life? Is this good for me? When we put a stop and look at the situation from a different perspective, we are capable of reasoning from a more realistic stand point. Leah’s desire for Jacob’s love, makes her believe her actions will change his heart. She had the bar too elevated in regards to Jacob.
Have you ever noticed that friends and family warn us before things happen? Why? Because their expectations are not as high as yours in regards to that person. Their vision is clear and can see things how they truly are. For that reason, building a stronger relationship with God is so important. When we are not in sync with God, it is easy to confuse his voice with the one from the world. I always compare my relationship with God with a radio. If I am not synchronized to the same frequency, I can only hear static. I’m not in tune with Him. But once I move that dial and get in the same frequency of God, I can hear his voice. We are synchronized. When God is part of our team and we meet someone, for good or bad, He sends us a signal that will tell us: “Careful” or “Go ahead, give it a shot”!
Now, I don't want you to think that you should lower expectations. On the contrary, I want you to team up with God and the Holy Spirit, because they are experts at protecting hearts. Since I switched my focus to God’s work and not my own desires, I came to realize He is on my side of the court. When I have someone in my radar, it doesn't take long before God send me his warning signals and like now, I am more receptive to his voice, I stop, analyze the situation and think: This doesn't fit my plans today.
When God saves you from something or someone, it is not to hurt you. He is trying to bring you back to the path of what he predestined for you. He doesn't want you to go through situations and pains that delay his divine plan. Next time he shuts a door: CELEBRATE! You have no idea the victory that it is to know that God protects you from something intended to hurt you. Lower that bar for the expectations imposed by the world and let God help you decide where and when to raise them. Proverbs 4: 23 says: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”. Let’s guard our heart, and let God be God. No One is better at it than Him!
Dear God,
I want to lift all my fellow Leahs in prayer. I pray that today they will synchronize to your frequency and listen to your voice. I pray that every Leah will build a stronger relationship with the Holy Spirit and will set their expectation accordingly to your plan. If any of them is recovering or suffering from false expectations, please Lord I ask you to heal their heart and embrace them with your everlasting love. I declare healing to every heart reading this. AMEN!
