Todays Lesson: Don’t Settle For Less!
Todays Scripture Inspired and References: Genesis 29:31
Genesis 29:3 When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved.
Leah was not loved, I felt so sad for her. She was forced into marriage and on top of everything she wasn't valued. How many of us are living in a similar situation, where we stay because we're comfortable, Although feel unworthy and are left with a feeling of wanting to be treated better!
First, let me talk to all my single Leas and those dating at the moment. Later, we will talk to my married Leas.
Why do we decide to stay in a place where we are unloved? This is the question that many of us don’t know how to answer. In my opinion and experience, It is my believe that, often times, we put all of our energy in trying to make something work, that we forget how worthy we are. We desire to walk inside our home and feel happiness because we are in the right place, but reality is that some of us, walk inside our homes or any other place and instead, we feel an oppression that lets us know we are not in the place God intended us to be. The bottom line is we are not loved and we are not being treated the way we deserve to be treated.
Our desire to have a beautiful love can blind us to a point where we are incapable of seeing that what we deserve is simply not there.
Feeling loved is not in the details like flowers, chocolates or presents. Love is what we feel when we are next to that person and how they make us feel. It’s about a “Good Morning “, “ How are you? “ , “Did you sleep well?” Not about pretty face or physical detail.
As women of God, we need to look for a man with his eyes focused on God. I want you to understand that a man that goes to church, not necessarily mean he is right for you. The love and desire for God should be equal, if not, you are going to pay a price. We can't change a person, even if we love to embrace that idea. I'm sorry to inform you, but that isn’t how it works, only God can change the person you are with. In order for God to do that, he needs to be willing to open that door. Until that man has an encounter with God and makes the decision to change, he won't be the right one for you!
2 Corinthians 6:14 says: ``Don't be unequally yolk.” Don't think for a second that because a person goes to church or calls himself a christian, is automatically compatible with you. Unequally yolk isn't only to be a different denomination or a non believer. It can be that you guys don’t think alike, that you guys have different values, or love God in different levels. Sometimes we are so passionate for God that we can devour the world while the other person won't even move a finger for the gospel. His passion and yours are not compatible. A relationship unequally yolk will drain you and at the end you will pay a price for it, trust me!
Not long ago, I ended a two and a half year relationship with a person I met at church. I was so convinced that it was God’s Will, that I ended up ignoring all the red flags I encountered along the way. We had two different points of view and we definitely didn't share the same desire of serving God. So what happened? In relationships like that, one will start to lose the battle and unfortunately that was me, I started to stray away from God. Was I happy? No, not even close. It was a relationship that I felt I was the one always battling to keep a float, because the other part never put enough effort into it. Every time I suggested working for God, I received the same answer: “ You go first, when I'm ready. I will follow”. Eventually the abyss became bigger and bigger and my desire to be right with God made me take the decision of LETTING GO. You will be surprised what blessings may come to your life when you let go. At the beginning, It’s difficult because you miss that person, the times together, all the dreams you deposited into the relationship are cancelled and you feel like you went back to zero. If only you understand my fellow Leahs, that God loves a broken foundation, it allows for him to wipe the dirt, and rebuild. That pain you are going through right now will pass. Once hours, days and weeks go by, you begin to realize you settled for less than what you deserve and you start seeing things with a different level of clarity. Once we realized we were settling for less, this is confirmation that God has started to wipe the dirt and is ready to rebuild. Don’t fight the process. Have you heard the saying: When God is ready to promote you, he makes you uncomfortable. From Comfort zones is nearly impossible to move in the direction that will bring the bigger blessing in our lives. Im convinced that things start shaking in your relationship to make you feel unease and realized that maybe God is trying to promote you to a different level. Once you stop fighting God, without even noticing it, you started preparing yourself to eventually open the doors to the beautiful love He has prepared for you. Trust me, God doesn't make you wait to punish you, He has made everything beautiful in its time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
If you are still waiting for that special someone, don't lose hope. It is better to wait in God and receive what you always wanted, than rush yourself and fall again in a relationship that is not good for you. Don't forget the enemy is always vigilant looking for a place to destroy and you don't want to open your heart for him to destroy it, one more time. We are not looking for temporary relationships, If we trust in God, He will bring a person with the same desires and that will work with you in order to make the relationship work and grow together as it should be. At that moment, you will understand why it never worked before.
If you are married and you identify with this post, there is still hope. Maybe when you got married, both of you were not closed to God. Or maybe you make the decision to serve God later and he is still fighting to take that step. Your situation is a bit different because at some point in life, you took the decision to married your spouse and before God, you two became one. I can imagine that it must be frustrating at times, when you are ready to level up and the other person is not, but it doesn’t mean that God can’t work on that. The bible says in Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. God is known as the God of the impossibles and he can work out any situation. Be wise and build a stronger relationship with God while you are in the waiting period. Talk to God about the desires of your heart and your feelings. Ask him to touch your spouse’s heart.
I’m blessed to have a woman of God in my life with an amazing testimony. She prayed over 30 years for her husband! God listen and answer her prayers. Before he left this earth to be promoted to heavenly places, he was saved. What she did during the waiting period? She served God. She never doubted that God will eventually change his heart and her faith was unmovable. She was able to see the hand of God in her marriage and was able to see her spouse align to the will of God.
God is aware of your situation, in some cases the wait is longer than others, but don’t allow that to discourage you. Get closer to God and you will see his power moving in your marriage. Like the woman in proverbs, be wise and build your house in the rock. Keep praying for you spouse, for your family and for a strong marriage. God will work it out.
My lovely single Leahs, work on yourselves, love yourselves and be happy in the place you are at today. A busy mind has no time to miss anyone. Go do something you like, go out with your friends or work on a ministry. You will see that the day you least expected it, you will be ready and God will send that special someone to knock on your door.
